Neil S. Reddy has been slumped over a typewriter for so long that he has been recategorised as an angle-poised lamp and is often assailed by strangers trying to turn him off. Do not pity him. He is a foul mouthed man and is well able to defend himself - he once reduced a giraffe to tears with a lingering sneer. He should never be approached during the hours of darkness without a beverage. He is an outspoken opponent of everything ignorant, ugly, stupid or overpriced. He lives quietly with his family in the U.K but only because they keep him heavily sedated in a cupboard with a lock; that will be forever England...until it sinks into the sea. He has a beard that is older than many people and contains more wildlife than many zoos. He has an irrational fear of soup. He feels nothing but contempt for hamsters. He is not to be trusted. He is troubled, testy and weird to the bone. He also writes stories.